I get crazy wicked-pissah excited around this time of year. I'm not excited over Christmas or the New Year though. I'm excited because the British Advertising Award show is at the Walker Art Center. The Walker screens it all month long, and each screening is always packed.
You get to settle in for an hour+ worth of all the best advertising that the jolly old United Kingdom has to offer. Some are funny as shit. Others are serious, and rather depresssing. Many are just slightly graphic - enough so that they're not really offensive, but too graphic for us Americans to air them.
Anyway, links to some of the videos on youtube are below. I didn't want to sit and creat 5 different posts by putting the videos on my blog. So, here are the links, in no particular order:
1.) The World's biggest prick. More Americans should see this one. Watch it! Go Greenpeace!
2.) Quite sad. 12 reasons not to drink and drive, sung to the tune of "The 12 Days of Christmas." It isn't too sad though. Watch it!
3.) A serious educational promo about smoking. Don't smoke! And Watch it!
4.) Hilarious. Frickin' Hilarious!. This shit is funny. So, the brits have this drink called "Irn-Bru." I have no idea what it is, but apparently everyone wants one. Even Snowmen. Watch it!
5.) Finally, the monkey. Brits have this brand of tea called "PG." And apparently there is the "PG Monkey." He's been around for 35+ years. He used to be a real live orangutan. They don't use a real monkey in the commericials anymore. But now they use a sock monkey. And they have a running plot between a man and his relationship with this sock monkey. In this clip, after leaving the man, the sock monkey returns home. There are hundreds of youtube videos about the PG Monkey. People love him and some people really really hate him. I love him. Watch it!
Okay, so I might have to rethink my stance on Same-Sex Marriage. The potato, apple, and orange made a very convincing argument against same-sex marriage. It was true to its title, quite possibly thee most logical argument against same-sex marriage that I've heard.
However, the clip above is also very convincing, in support of equal marriage.
Yup, I've decided. I support same-sex marriage. I should have the same rights as every straight dweeb in the country.
Straight people beware: this is only the beginning. Soon I'll be asking to marry my dog. Together we'll raise a colony of luwaks. We'll call them our children and demand tax credits. We'll invite you over for coffee though.
I came across a very interesting product last week. It is the "Men on a Mission" 2008 wall calendar. 12 of the sexiest little do-gooders you ever did meet.
It is quite unfortunate that I find many, many things about their religion offensive. All the same, they'll be gracing the side of my fridge for 2008, recording my comings and goings (no pun intended). So much for that oath of modesty that the LD saints are supposed to take. And thank goodness, because these guys have NOTHING to be modest about. Yum yum! I have twelve favorites!
At the end of August I went to southwestern Minnesota with some friends. One friend's family has a lake cabin down there. The proverbial lake cabin is always a nice weekend respite from the city. I'm a big fan. I usually go to my parents' house, which is also on a lake.
The trip to SW Minnesota was exciting for a number of reasons. It was a new cabin, and a new lake. It was with three other 'mos, and time amongst the queers is always good time. But also high on my list - we had to drive through Walnut Grove, MN to get to the cabin.
Regular readers and friends are already aware that I am a BIG fan of Little House on the Prairie. It was a television show in the 70s and early 80s, about a frontier family living in Walnut Grove, MN. The show is based on a series of books written by Laura Ingalls Wilder. Here are some pictures of the TV family, and Laura's character specifically.
They're all pretty attractive, right? Who wouldn't want these folks as neighbors in the late 1800s. Notice in the one picture how Michael Landon's arms are wrapped around those lucky lucky girls, Melissa Gilbert and Melissa Sue Anderson. Yum. And his wide open collar - I don't care who you are. Michael Landon early years was an attractive mofo.
Now, take a look at the real family, and the real Laura.
Yikes! Especially the family picture! Check out the eyes. They all look evil. I'm not surprised the family moved every couple of years - they were probably run out of town.
Anyway, I convinced (demanded) my traveling party that we HAD to stop in Walnut Grove on the way back to the city, specifically at the Laura Ingalls Wilder Museum. It has seven buildings. It is like the friggin' Smithsonian, but better.
Here's a fun picture of me, in front of the Ingall's hollywood fireplace/mantel/hearth. Don't I look like Michael Landon?
I have to confess something - I think I might be doing a complete 180 on my views towards same-sex marriage. I came across this little gem on youtube yesterday, and frankly, found it very convincing.
As its title says, it is, quite possibly, the most logical argument against same-sex marriage one could make.
I'm proud to report that my household is now using significantly less toilet paper than we were two weeks ago.
I've stopped wiping my ass! Just kidding.
Seriously, everyone I polled said not to go there. Everyone. I must've asked a dozen people, and not one said to be direct. They all said to just buy more toilet paper, or turn it into a shared household expense, but whatever I do, don't be direct.
Well, I couldn't resist. So, after getting home from COSTCO, where I bought enough toilet paper for five years, I said, to roommate #2:, "Hey, you have a couple of minutes?"
R2: Sure. what's up. Me: Well, first, I want to take the house out to dinner, for roommmate bonding. Is next Wednesday good for you? R2: Yeah! Awesome! hehe. [Note: he laughs after EVERYTHING he says] Me: Great. Two - I just got back from COSTCO. So if we're ever out of something, we're not really. Just look on the shelf in the basement storage area. R2: Cool! Wow! [Note: he's also easily impressed] Me: And third, normally I'd bring this up at our roommate dinner, since it is a house thing, but it isn't appetizing so I'm bringing it up now. As a household, we're using too much toilet paper. R2: [blank stare] Me: Like 4 rolls over 7 days. I've been monitoring (at this point I'm regretting that I used the word 'monitoring') R2: I think its me. Me: I didn't want to point fingers, but yeah, household usage went up considerably shortly after you moved into the house. And not just by 33.34%. We either use less, or it becomes a shared expense. R2: Yeah, I have a snotty face after I get out of the shower. Me: [my turn for the blank stare] R2: Like, really snotty, and all over [at this point, he motions his hands around his entire face.] Me: Really? R2: Yeah, and I'm paranoid that if I wait to use a tissue in my bedroom, one of you guys will see me in the hall, and be grossed out. Me: No, not at all. And besides, I'm gone before you're even up, and R1 is still asleep when you leave. R2: Well, I'll try to use less. Me: (skeptical at the ambiguity of what constitutes 'less') Well, we need to get it down to one roll/week, tops. R2: Cool! Hehe.
I have two roommates. My life is a true story, of three strangers, picked to live in a house, togther. I'm going to stop being polite, and start getting real.
Roommate #1 moved in at the end of May. He and I get along fine. He likes to crock-pot cook, which I find gross. Who wants to eat meat that has been simmering in not-very-hot water all day long? I do! I do! Anyway, the point is, he and I have been living together for three months. Patterns, norms, routines, etc... all have been established. Enter Roommate #2.
Roommate #2 is great too. I have very little to complain about. He moved in mid-August. I immediately began to realize that the household toilet paper consumption increased. Drastically. Like much more than 33%. "Let it go," I told myself. But I kept having to replinish. And I supply (pay for) all household cleaning/paper goods.
I thought I could force myself to let it go. Then Roommate #1 said something to me - "are we going through a lot of t.p.?" he asked. Okay - so he noticed too! So, I started to monitor. No, I'm not monitoring my roommates' b.m.'s. I'm not like a crazy catholic father who forces his daughters to track their periods on the family calendar. But I began tracking t.p. usage.
On the morning of Saturday, Sept. 1, there were four full rolls in the bathroom. In the evening of Sunday, Sept. 2, there were 2 1/2. We went through 1.5 rolls in two days! I wasn't even home all day Saturday and Sunday! Before Roommate #2, it'd take the two of us about two weeks to go through one roll.
So, dear readers, I seek your advice. Is my roommate hosting enema parties while I'm at work? Is his diet high in husk (I never see him eat)? How do I say, "Dude, you're using too much t.p. - two square = more than enough." Has anyone ever told a grown adult to alter their bathroom habits?
I was more or less raised on a fabulous little show titled, "Little House on the Prairie." I was plunked down in front of the boob tube anytime it was one, and I love LOve LOVED it! I would pretend I was Laura Ingells (aka 'halfpint' aka Melissa Gilbert) and spread my arms wind in sync with the music, secretly wishing I had pigtails and was running down a hill filled with wheat.
The show is set in "Walnut Grove, MN" back in 'the olden days.' I think the mid-1800's. Laura and Mary Ingells are "Country Girls" as dubbed by Nellie Olson. Nellie is the rich girl in town that everyone hates. Except I didn't hate her. I don't hate her. I LOVE her. And when I watched the clip above on youtube, I realized that I felt the same way then as I do now: Laura and Mary ARE country girls, and they deserve to be mocked.
This clip is a bit longish (7 or so minutes). I understand some of you may be so fabulous that you don't have enough time to watch it all. I don't want to be friends with your or know you, because if you're too fabulous for LHOTP, well, you're just a dipshit. Just sayin'.
So, anyway, there is a great bit of Nellie calling Laura and Mary 'country girls' at the very beginning, over and over, for like the first 1 minute 30 seconds. Then, at 3:15, begins a little montage of Laura cheating on an assignment. She was supposed to write an 'essay,' so she wrote a homage to her "Ma." But as she read it, her "Ma" knew that she didn't actually write it, and that she was making it up, because she couldn't write herself out of a well (remember the episode where Carrie fell in the well????). Anyway, because Ma is great and beautiful and all things fabulous, she talks to Laura, and makes her fess up to Mrs. Beatle, the old spinster-yet-friendly/beautiful/small-town teacher. And if you don't laugh outloud and pee yourself from amusement upon seeing what Laura actually wrote, well, again, I must say, I don't want to know you.
And I can be amused at all of this because I am an educator. Laura is a dumbass. And amazingly, like 5 seasons later, she's the teacher at the friggin' school.
I'm telling you, for hours of enjoyment, do a youtube search for "little house on the prairie."
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